How to discuss substance use at home
There is no single right way to talk to a teenager about intoxicants. Knowing your child well and having a good rapport with them will help. So find ways that work for you and your child.
Your child probably does not expect you to know everything about intoxicants in advance. Our understanding of the subject also evolves as more research data becomes available. So, you can ask real questions about the topic out loud and seek reliable information about them together with the teenager.
You should seek to both establish clear family rules and create an accepting, safe environment so that the teenager feels comfortable coming to you if they stray from what has been agreed upon.
Asking questions and understanding your teenager are important parts of the conversation: What does your child think about drugs and alcohol? Have they tried any substances? How have any related situations unfolded, and how did the teenager feel about the experience?
Also provide tools for dealing with peer pressure. Think about situations in which the teenager might be faced with a choice: how to say no in a way that feels natural to them.
For example, the teenager may find it helpful to
- have a simple, casual way of saying no
- bring their own non-alcoholic beverage or
- come up with an excuse for leaving in advance.
Quick tips for the discussion
- Ask the teenager about their thoughts and experiences.
- Review the family rules
- Seek reliable information together on topics that concern you.
- Come up with natural ways to say no.
What should you do if you have concerns?
If you suspect that your child is using substances, start by gently broaching the subject in conversation with them. You can ask about their friends and free time, and how they like school. Share your concerns and give them the chance to respond honestly without judgment.
Also consider whether you can get in touch with the parents of your child’s friends. Is your child’s behaviour motivated by curiosity among friends or peer pressure, or are they turning to substances for solace?
If your teenager’s substance use is driven by mental health challenges, difficulties at school, loneliness or other difficult emotions, they need help with the underlying issues above all else. When they receive support for their challenges and help with their distress, their substance use may stop.