The range of emotions experienced by a child expands with age. New emotional states are part of the normal emotional development of primary school children.
It is very typical to be frightened by new emotions. Anxiety or shame, for example, can be very confusing emotions for a young child. Your child may not immediately recognise these emotions or know how to process them.
Because the new emotion is unfamiliar, the child may suspect that the emotional state they are experiencing is not normal. Unpleasant emotions are also part of life, however, and experiencing them is beneficial for the child: they learn how to react to different emotions and situations, and what is the best way for them to process them.
Support emotional skills
You can support your child's emotional development by verbalising feelings and describing different emotional states and the sensations they create in the body.
You can give examples of situations where you have experienced similar feelings yourself.
But keep in mind that we all experience emotions in different ways, including our own children. The most important thing is to support the child in dealing with their feelings in the way they feel comfortable with. This can sometimes be difficult if the child's temperament and ways of processing emotions are very different from your own.
Moreover, the solution that seems right varies from day to day and from situation to situation. Sometimes we need to be comforted by physical touch and sometimes we need our own space.
Together with your child, explore and experiment with different ways of facing and dealing with emotions.
For example, you can try
- drawing or writing about your concerns
- listening to music that suits your mood
- breathing exercises for calming down
- fiddling with stress toys for restlessness or tension
- channelling big emotions into movement
- shouting your anger into a pillow.
