In adolescence, sexuality develops rapidly. A teenager's body changes, their identity takes shape and new feelings begin to emerge. These changes may feel confusing to the teenager.
It is important to remember that every teenager experiences these things in their own way. Individuality in sexuality is completely normal and part of a teenager's healthy development.
Sexual education at home
Every teenager deserves to have access to information about their sexuality. While schools do provide teenagers with information about sexuality, this may not be an environment where teenagers feel comfortable asking for more information about the issues that are on their minds.
Research shows that discussing sexuality at an early age reduces early sexual intercourse and risky behaviour among teenagers.
If starting the conversation feels awkward or is difficult for some other reason, try to seize the right moment: for instance, when you see a news story related to the topic, when a friend of the teenager starts dating or when the teenager is listening to a song about love.
You can talk to your teenager about sexuality in general terms. Do not pry into their experiences or other personal matters. Provide information that is important for them to have in order to ensure their general safety and responsible dating.
- Talk to your teenager about sexually transmitted diseases and contraception.
- Look into the health services available to teenagers together.
A teenager's orientation
Your teenager's sexuality may develop in a different direction than you had anticipated. If you do not know your teenager's sexual orientation – and even if you do – show your acceptance in everyday situations, such as when you talk about other people, comment on a TV show or share a funny video on social media.
Expressions of acceptance are important if a teenager is questioning their sexual orientation. Let them bring up the subject when they are ready. Teenagers need both direct and indirect reassurance that you accept them just as they are.
Try to separate your own feelings and fears from those of the teenager. Any concerns you may have about belonging to a minority are not something your child needs to hear. If you want, you can discuss your concerns and feelings later, e.g. with your partner or in parental peer groups.
Find support for LGBTIQ people in Helsinki (Seta)(Link leads to external service)
Sexuality in romantic relationships
Every teenager should have the right to grow up safely with their own sexuality. Finnish law protects this right. The law sets the age of consent for sexual activity at 16, but allows for equal relationships between young people.
Sex also comes with a lot of responsibility: responsibility for your own health and that of others, for other people’s feelings and for not starting a new life if you are not ready to be a parent. It is good to discuss these matters with your teenager, even though the subject is often awkward and it can be difficult to find the right words.
Important issues to discuss
- Discuss what consent means. Ensuring consent in sexual situations is an essential part of relationships.
- Encourage your teenager to stick to their own boundaries. Dating does not necessarily imply sex.
- Make sure that your teenager has trustworthy people, whom they can talk to about things they may not want to share with you or other family members.