Experiences from your own childhood
Your own childhood memories may rise to the surface during pregnancy. You will remember your carers’ decisions that you consider to be good and bad. Considering them, you can reflect on what good parenting is to you and how you can work towards it.
Studies have shown that people give the same kind of care as they have received themselves. However, you can make different choices from your parents, and you can also grow and develop as a parent over the years.
Think about the following:
- What kind of parents or carers did I have?
- What will I do similarly and what will I do differently from them?
- How can I become a good parent?
- How can I protect my child?
Ways to prepare
Things such as the following can help you prepare for parenthood:
- Increase your knowledge. Read books, attend parenting courses and ask friends and family about their experiences.
- Talk with your partner about your expectations, fears and hopes regarding parenthood.
- Acquire the equipment and supplies that you will need to care for your baby. Doing so, you will look into what is to come and make it concrete.
- Build networks for the future. Seek support from family, friends or local parenting groups. Perhaps an acquaintance of yours is having a baby around the same time? Perhaps someone else is already offering a helping hand?
- Take care of your wellbeing: your mood, your relationship, your physical health. Parenthood brings both joys and challenges. Being in balance will make it easier for you to adapt to the future.
- Think about your future routines and schedules. How can you take care of the wellbeing of the different members of your family in your everyday life?
Notions of the upcoming baby
It is perfectly natural if you do not yet feel a strong attachment to your baby in the early stages of your pregnancy. During early pregnancy, notions of the upcoming baby are also often rather vague.
The notions often increase when the baby’s first movements are felt. You may start talking to your child and thinking with your spouse about what your child will look like and what kind of a personality you hope that they will inherit. Imagining and interacting with your upcoming baby will strengthen your parenthood and your relationship with your child.
As labour approaches, thoughts often turn to the upcoming childbirth. You may no longer be able to picture the baby in your mind like you used to. That is how it should be: your thoughts are leaving your imaginary baby, and you are preparing to meet your real baby.
If you repeatedly have negative notions of your upcoming baby or your own parenthood, you should talk about it at the maternity and child health clinic. The clinic will refer you to the service that you need. For example, suitable conversational help can strengthen your relationship with your upcoming child and prevent postpartum depression.
