In this article, a mother of a toddler from Helsinki shares her best tips for starting daycare – tips that she wishes she had heard when the family started their daycare journey six months ago.
When my toddler started daycare six months ago, I didn’t know what to expect or how to prepare for this new phase in life.
I was nervous about how we would manage early mornings with a sleepy child. I wondered how my child would adjust to the daycare routine, which includes, heaven forbid, only one nap and lunch is served an hour (or a small eternity) later than our usual schedule. How on earth will I have the heart to leave her with strangers without both of us missing each other so much it hurts?
With the tips below, you can support your child in starting daycare and make the mornings easier for yourself as well. I also asked Jemiina Lind, early childhood education teacher at Daycare Yliskylä, what families should consider as the start of daycare approaches. In this article, I will discuss municipal early childhood education, which means the care provided in the public daycare centres in Helsinki.
If your child is starting at a daycare centre run by the City of Helsinki, the daycare will contact your family about a month before the start date. If the start is in August, they may reach out as early as May, before Finland's summer vacation months that run from June to August. Typically, they get in touch by a phone call where the group teacher introduces the group and its adults. You will also get instructions on what to bring and when to arrive. You can discuss any concerns you have and talk more about your family. Think about your questions in advance and have a pen and paper ready for notes. This way you can go back and check what you talked about.
Include the approaching start of daycare into the little things in your family’s daily life, so that it doesn’t come as a complete surprise to your child. You can, for example, tell your child that soon they will be going to daycare and describe what it will be like. You can include going to daycare in your playtime and talk about it as much as possible.
“There are so many great children’s books about starting daycare these days. I recommend reading them for the child and looking at pictures together. This might help the child understand what daycare centre means and what it is like”, says Lind.
Lind also recommends going to see what the daycare centre’s yard and playground look like. Anyone can go play when the daycare centre is closed, so usually from Monday to Friday after 17.30, on the weekends and during holidays. This helps the child get to know the surroundings before daycare starts.
Every group has their own daily schedule in daycare. Depending on the daycare centre, it might look something like this:
The first introductory days are usually short, lasting a couple of hours per day depending on your child's needs. On the first day, we stayed only a couple of hours after breakfast. Our toddler could barely stay awake until the first outdoor session, as she was used to getting her first nap before 10 am. The teacher looked at my toddler napping in the snow toboggan and said it was time for us to go home. Remember that the introduction week can be adjusted according to your child’s needs.
If you want to prepare for the first few days, it might be worth trying to adapt the child’s daily rhythm to the daycare centre group’s schedule. This is easier said than done, which is why you should allow plenty of time for it.
When daycare finally starts, the child can have two close adults with them during the introduction period, which is usually one-week long. For the first day, my spouse and I both decided to go. On the second and third day we took turns. On the fourth day, some of the new children spent the day without their parents or guardians, but we felt that our child still needed a family member’s support and decided to call in grandmother to accompany our toddler.
The child can stay in the daycare centre without their close adults once the service agreement is officially in place. The start date of the agreement is the start date of the early childhood education and early childhood education fee. You can check this on your child's early childhood education decision.
If possible, I recommend you clear some space in your work calendar for the introductory week. Talk to your employer well in advance to arrange any necessary absences. It’s hard to tell in advance how much or little time a child needs to adapt to the group, so changes to the original plan are common.
In the first week, the group teacher will arrange an introductory meeting with each child's parents or guardians. In this meeting, you can discuss your child in more detail and talk about your hopes and needs regarding your child’s early childhood education.
“We can plan the introductory week during the first days and change it according to the family’s and child’s needs. It doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. If we see that the child is adapting well, we can agree that on the next day, the child can spend the whole day at the daycare. Or if it looks like the child is having challenges adjusting, we'll think of ways to support the child," says Lind.
Remember that the daycare centre staff can arrange an interpreter to join the introductory meeting, or any other conversation or meetings with the daycare centre.
“We will always book an interpreter if the family speaks a language other than Finnish. You can still let us know if you would like an interpreter. English interpreters are usually available on a short notice, but for other languages it can take a couple of days to book, depending on the situation. It's always worth asking, even if you need an interpreter tomorrow, or want to talk to the staff in your own language. It's perfectly okay and welcome," says Lind.
When the day comes when the child is in daycare without a parent, tears usually cannot be avoided. No matter how heart-breaking it would feel to leave the crying child, don’t prolong your departure.
“This might be the first time children practice being away from their parents. Even if the child is crying, and it feels extremely difficult for the parent to leave, the sooner the child gets to a chance to calm down, the better. The staff will be there to support the child and guide their thoughts into pleasant activities. In most cases, the child soon starts to play and do other things", says Lind.
The daycare centre staff will make sure that your child is as comfortable as possible. If you would like to know how your child is doing, you can contact the daycare group by a text message to ask how your child’s day is going. It's also worth slipping a tissue into your own pocket; the moment of departure can be emotionally difficult for us parents too.
It is also a good idea for children to practice being separated from their parents beforehand. So, start practicing being separated well in advance with familiar and safe adults.
The right to an interpreter. If any of the parents or guardians does not speak Finnish (or Swedish in Swedish-speaking daycare centres), the teacher will arrange an interpreter for meetings and conversations with the family. The service does not cost anything for the family. In the first week, an interpreter can be useful in the introductory meeting, where you can talk more about your child and go over your wishes. A little later, your child will also have their first ‘varhaiskasvatussuunnitelmakeskustelu’. (or vasu for short), which is the early childhood education plan discussion. In the vasu meeting, you and the teacher will develop a personal plan for your child that will support their growth and learning.
Let the daycare centre know a few days before, or as soon as possible if you would like an interpreter to join you for the discussion. This will allow the staff to make the necessary arrangements.
The start of daycare is rarely a bed of roses, and our experience was no exception. There have been mornings when my child runs to the daycare centre and jumps into her carer's arms. There have also been mornings when she lies screaming on the ground and refuses to go. For the first four weeks, she would tear up when she realised it was time for mummy or daddy to go home. But one morning things changed: with a spring in her step, she ran to her highchair and turned to wave at me and smiled. As if she was trying to say, “Off you go, I'll be fine here”.
Despite the minor challenges we have faced, I dare to say my child has enjoyed her time in daycare, and it has nothing but enriched our family’s day-to-day life. She loves the adults who take care of her, as well as her new friends, and on 95% percent of all mornings she marches in there with a smile on her face. The remaining 5% that do not go so smoothly are part of any family’s life and part of the process.
Daycare, or ‘early childhood education’ as we at the city of Helsinki love to call it, is an important chapter in a child’s life.
I have had a front row seat to observe how my child learns new skills in a relatively short amount of time. Just after a few days in daycare, she took the spoon in her hand and sipped milk from a cup like an expert. Thus far she had had food with her fingers and milk from a bottle. This felt like a huge milestone.
In addition to the mundane skills, daycare centre lays the foundation for good learning in the future and teaches children to be part of a group. Every little learner is seen as an individual, and learning is merged into play, in a child-friendly way.
A fuzzy feeling of pride fills my heart when I see my child’s first artwork waiting in her locker one morning. The mere idea of her sitting brush in hand, painting and crafting with her teacher is so heart-warming. Another moment of pride comes when I watch my child at her first spring party dancing and clapping to the choreography. Or when other parents tell me that their child thinks our child is a nice friend, my heart fills with humble gratitude for early childhood education and the professionals who teach my child.
The daycare transition is not always a walk in the park, but we were lucky that our child got a place in this group with these particular people. Each parent or guardian knows what the best solution for their family is, and the only way to find out is by trial and error.
In addition to the daycare centres, early childhood education can take place in a round-the-clock daycare centre, family daycare or in the club activities provided by the public playgrounds. There is also a wide range of private daycare centres that provide early childhood education in a different language or around a certain theme or culture. Explore your options and remember to apply for the municipal early childhood education four months in advance!
The author works at the Education Division’s communication department.
