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It is often nice to be around 9–12-year-old-children. They have adapted to school and are interested in a range of different things.

Each child grows and develops at their own pace. The information on development stages is therefore only intended as guidance.

A 12-year-old is holding two balloons while a 9-year-old is playing with a skipping rope.

Puberty is usually not yet at the worst stage and life is going okay. It is easy to get along with the child. At this point, a parent should attempt to maintain a good relationship with the child and spend plenty of time with them.

Your interest and encouragement will help your child to develop his or her own personality. You should, therefore, ask your child from time to time about how they are doing and what they are thinking.

With 9–12-year-olds, you should also discuss puberty. Strengthening trust now could make discussion easier when the child enters puberty. If your child trusts you, he or she can talk to you about almost anything.

Your child also wants you to trust him or her. You need to give your child some responsibilities, such as cleaning their own room or dusting. Allow your child to feel like he or she is able to help.

More information about the development of 9–12-year-old children is available, for example, in the Vanhempainnettiservice provided by the Mannerheim League for Child Welfare (in Finnish) and on the pages of  the Family Federation of Finland (in Finnish). More links are available in the links list.


The development of children’s emotions, experiences and sexuality is discussed in videos featuring child psychiatrist Raisa Cacciatore (in Finnish).

26.05.2021 14:11